James Nova

I could drop names:
I debated theology with both Martin E. Marty and Stiv Bators, discussed philosophy with AJ Ayer, had supper in the upper room of a Christian restaurant with Madalyn Murray-O'Hair and twelve other atheists, I had a heated argument in public with Gloria Steinem, I drank scotch with Alexander Cockburn, Molly Ivins, and Christopher Hitchens, I've known three Supreme Court victors, former Black Panther Eldridge Cleaver told me I should be killed, Black Panthers founder Bobby Seale gave me a T-shirt, I've chatted with Ralph Nader, watched a member of Devo snort coke and acquired surgical tools for their drummer, Dr. Michael DeBakey trapped me on an elevator and laughed about it, I bought an underage Joan Jett a drink at the Whisky A-Go-Go, I talked to rock legend Roky Erikson at a record swap on a rare day when he was sane, I was almost knocked off a curb by Sinead O'Connor, Cezar Chavez told me to boycott grapes, I sat on couch with Bianca Jagger, Eliot Erwitt chastised me for not carrying my camera,  I corresponded with dada artist Beatrice Wood, was glared at by Yayoi Kusama,  I hung out with Siouxsie Sioux in an alley, I had snotty exchanges with the punk band X.  VS supermodel Adriana Lima took selfies of us backstage. I discussed German expressionism with Michael Douglas and partied with the Kardashians.  Goth muscian Diamanda Galas autographed a T-shirt for me and told me to shut up.  The Last Poets founder Abiodun Oyewole doubled over in laughter after hearing my anecdote about getting detention in high school for playing “White Man’s Got A God Complex” over the PA system.  Legendary art curator Walter “will be here in 20 minutes” Hopps recalled talking to my ex-wife and I in Paris, one year before we ever visited there and one year before he died.  Maybe he meant Paris Texas.  I'd never been there, either.  I told former NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg at an art opening that he had wrongfully put me in jail - twice - and that I was suing him.  I did, and I won. I almost hit former VP Dick Cheney in the face with a snowball.  I am a distant cousin of the Bush family.  I apologize. Professor Bernardine Dohrn, Weather Underground co-founder and FBI 10 Most Wanted alumnus, said my home-made T-shirt was really cool and asked if she could have it.  I declined because I didn't want to walk around Chelsea shirtless.  The late designer Kate Spade appeared to be depressed two years before she committed suicide.  Tommy Hilfiger is a prick.  I was backstage with Tanya Tucker.  She was very flirty.  I almost collided with Henry Rollins.  I wrote a very negative review of him in a newspaper. Dead Kennedys front man Jello Biafra was rude to my wife.  I wrote a very positive review of him in a newspaper.  I sat next to Kurt Vonnegut at a lecture by Howard Zinn.  Someone asked Zinn a really stupid question.  Kurt looked at me and rolled his eyes.  I danced with rapper Angel Haze at Afropunk. Her arch-enemy rapper and Trump-supporter Azealia Banks physically pulled me past security to get me into her private party.   I sat next to the Talking Heads' David Byrne at an Edgar Allen Poe event.  He kept checking his watch throughout but stayed to the end.  He told me he liked my watch.  I told him I got it on Canal Street in Chinatown.  I had several encounters with Lou Reed and wife Laurie Anderson.  She told me all about her dog's diet. The dog died shortly thereafter.    I sat opposite Lou's Velvet Underground bandmate Sterling Morrison in a vegetarian restaurant.  He was with a woman who was not his wife.  So was I. The two women knew each other.  Somersaulting fashion designer Betsey Johnson (and former wife of Velvet Underground bassist John Cale) said to me for no discernible reason “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  I couldn’t imagine what that would be, short of dying.

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I'm telling you all this now because none of these people and none of these incidents appear in my book.  I'm not a name-dropper.

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